This has potential.
Here are my suggestions:
- Rework the controls. Going between using the mouse and using both hands on the keyboard is kind of a hassle. Maybe have pressing the space bar or something in front of doors to enter them, and to go through text boxes. Also the keys for fighting are a little weird to me. A, W, and C? They're kind of oddly spread out over the keyboard that way.
-The colors. Do something about the colors. They're all very bright, which is fine, but they clash. Bright blue, bright green, and bright red all kind of buzz when you have them near eachother. Do a search for "color theory" on your favorite seach engine and check it out. Or skip reading about the theory and just be sure to adjust the brightness and saturation of the colors you're using (HELPFUL HINT: Use Flash's color panel and switch it to HSB mode instead RGB to make this much easier) until they start to look really nice together. Good color choices can make any art look at least twice as good as it would otherwise, and it's pretty easy once you get the hang of it.
I like the story and the dialog, because they come off as unintentionally funny (which they may actually be) which is kind of more fun than intentionally goofy stuff sometimes. Disregard this paragraph for now, lest it interfere with what it's referring to. It works, so just go with it.
And that's all I got. Keep at it.